You, Me, We, Us: the drunken ramblings
by The-Old-Panda-Tamer
Summary: KIGO Kim and Shego share some drunken truths and secrets in a club toilet...Better than I made it sound, hahaha. Chapter 3 Part2 up. Oh I rule at chapter names, hahahahahaha.
1. Another time, another place

**Dont have time to uh...have some proper thoughts n whatever up here, I'll be bollocked if Im caught going to bed now, its 5.30am...Scratch that, just got bollocked...hahahahaha.**

**I was drunk when I started writing this, (and practically still was when it was finished, haha) n I felt sick, hence why theyre drunk...**

**There will be more than this.  
**

**I'll update my other Kigo fanfic soon, got chapter 2 done, just a case of typing it up. Wasnt done sooner due to exams n Christmas.**

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She felt like her insides were being ripped out through her mouth. Ok, maybe she was over-dramatic, but right now, she felt like utter shite.

She hurled once more, sitting up as she finished to wipe her mouth on her sleeve. She rested her back against the cold, chipped plaster wall. This hadn't been planned, but this is what had happened. She hadn't even wanted to go out that night, but with the day she'd had she felt as if she deserved it.

Her thoughts were stopped suddenly as she heard the main toilet door swing open, a momentary blast of head-throbbing music finding its way to her ears before becoming muffled by the door again. The stranger stumbled her way into the cubical next to hers, and clumsily flopped onto the floor, where she, like Kim, chucked up the contents of her stomach.

Kim's eyes blurred as she focused on the foot intruding into her cubical, but widened in shock as they realised the certain skin tone. She blinked and roughly rubbed her eyes before looking back towards the foot clad in a black stiletto, who's straps wound round the ankle of the wearer. Another wreching sound echoed through the damp, dingy club toilet, and the occupier of the next stall sat up, with her back to the thin board wall, her feet now sticking through, pointing towards Kim. Yup, that's definitely who's foot she thought it was.

"Shego?" she slurred out.

"Princess?" was the slurred reply.

The redhead grimaced as she thought who was practically sat next to her. She coughed lightly, and stood up, yet having to support herself against the wall as she wobbled.

She heard Shego do the same, and braced herself before slowly pushing open the door. She walked out, well, by walked more stumbled, and pushed open the door next to hers.

There stood her arch foe, in a sleek black dress that fitted in places Kim shouldn't think about, with an equally striking pair of black stilettos she had previously been acquainted with. Her hair flopped out of the tight bun it had been put in hours before, and her purse slung from her elbow, ready to slide off her arm the moment she moved. She stifled a laugh, if only to prevent herself from vomiting again, and instead spoke out to the other woman.

"Christ, Shego, puke down your chin is _so_ a good look for you."

"Can it Pumpkin, I know you were doing the same…" Shego closed her eyes and swayed, holding tightly onto the door to support herself.

"Y'know Kimmie…" she spoke, keeping her eyes closed and moving from side to side, "I didn't have you pegged as a clubber…or a drinker…" She opened her eyes and glared at the redhead. "Why are you here?"

Kim clambered towards Shego and gripped onto the older woman's shoulders, using her as a stand to help keep her upright.

"Shego…today was so bad all I want to do is forget it…" she almost whispered as she slid down onto the floor, cross legged, still holding onto Shego's skirt.

"Awww…Princess." The villainess pouted, mockingly. She joined the teen on the floor and smirked towards her with an amount of taunting in it. "Drinking won't solve your problems, and anyway…our meeting earlier wasn't_ that _bad was it?" Shego laughed when she remembered the humiliating sight Kim and the buffoon had been when trying to foil Drakken's latest, craptastic plan. Lets just say it hadn't gone exactly how it had been planned.

"It couldn't have been worse even if Ron had _tried._" She gulped in an attempt to subdue the feeling within her stomach and moved slightly closer to Shego. "Victory drink is this, then?" she questioned.

"Try you're only day off in about a month…" The feeling grew in Shego's stomach too, yet she also tried to ignore it. "Though I bet Drakken would never guess…you 'n' me…pissed out of our heads on the toilet floor together…" The green woman laughed lightly as she pictured Drakken's face, was he to ever find out.

"Talking like we're friends…" Kim concluded, also joining in in Shego's laughter. Both their heads pounded like someone was ramming a crowbar between their eyes every second. They stopped and sat in silence for a few moments, before Shego shifted her weight, rubbing her forehead as she did, and spoke.

"So what's with you and that idiot anyway?" Shego questioned.

"Ron? Absolutely nothing…He may be my best friend but he's a complete numbnuts-"

"Hahahaha…"

"What?"

"You said numbnuts…" she giggled, a bit too girlishly for Kim's liking.

"I'd never be more than friends with him…" Kim concluded, ignoring the other woman's slight out burst. "Why? What about you, hmm?" Kim suddenly felt herself fall towards the floor, but hoisted herself up too quickly for Shego to notice. "You actually interested in anyone?"

"Princess, with the job I have I can't be interested in anyone longer than a night…if you catch my meaning…" she added when Kim's face wore a look of confusion.

"Oh…right…I…yeah…" The teen was lost for words and averted her gaze towards the sinks. She noticed, even from floor level, that only one of the 4 available sinks had two taps still attached, then abruptly thought why she was even taking notice of the sinks when she heard a voice close to her ear.

"You want to be tonight's interest, Kimmie?"

Wondering if she heard right, Kim turned her head towards the source of the noise, and found her lips inches away from her enemy's. Her eyes widened in shock when she saw the look in the pair of eyes opposite. The look of wanting.

She closed her eyes, not realising what she was doing; ready to feel the warmth from Shego embrace her mouth. Lips brushed together momentarily, before being interrupted by the beat of the music growing louder.

The drunken blonde blinked, her misty blue eyes deceiving her, she thought. She closed the door hastily to the sight her mind had tricked her into seeing. Not only was it two girls about to kiss, but one of them was green, and, the other, appeared to be none other than_ the _Kim Possible. Yeah, right, as if that was happening.

The door closed almost as soon as it had opened, but now they were both back in the damp toilets, staring at each other. Kim's skin burned to a blush, and Shego glanced a suggestive smile.

The villainess clambered up the side of the cubical and stood, more solidly, glaring down at the redhead.

"Maybe some other time, ey Princess?"


	2. So we meet again

**About an hour earlier in submitting it than I was the other night, hahaha, I just hope my mum doesnt wake up again TT-TT **

**I planned on writing 2 chapters tonight, but I got lazy, so just the one now lol. **

**I wanted to use description more in this chapter (Im not usually one for describing so lemme know how it is) and have more conversation between Kim and Shego. **

**Dont know if this has the same charm as my drunken writing...I hope I havent killed it before its even started -.- lol (if I have, sorry for being sober, hahaha).**

**Enough of me going on, enjoy, and please review :D **

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Despite the tremendous hangover, the disapproving words of her parents and the self-made promise of 'no more drinking…EVER', Kim found herself at the same club the following weekend. The club shared the familiar, sweaty atmosphere as it had done the rest of the times she had wound up in it, and she never understood why she went there. Oh yeah, the drinks were cheap. That _had _to be the reason because she always bought plenty of them.

Luckily, this time, she had controlled her alcohol consumption…somewhat. She was dizzy, couldn't see straight and was dancing, by herself, like a complete tit, but at least she wasn't _sick_.

Shego leaned heavily on the sink, keeping herself steady as she desperately tried to look at herself in the dirty mirror. She squinted, pouting a bit as she did; a drunken trait she would do anything to rid herself of. She could see her makeup wasn't as immaculate as it had been and her hair had, yet again, worked its way out of its tight bun.

She slammed her purse next to the sink, only to realise she had placed it in a pool of water surrounding the taps. Fuck it, that was the least of her worries.

Shego grabbed a handful of paper towels from the dispenser hanging off the wall, and dabbed furiously at the dark crimson patch on her dress. Some drunken shmuck had spilled his drink down her dress. _Great, it looks like I've crapping pissed myself…I wish I'd grilled his drunken ass… _Had it not been for his, as Shego had put it, 'hot as fuck' girlfriend, who couldn't stop apologising on his intoxicated behalf, she probably would have. She muttered something else about more grilling, when the toilet door swung open.

Kim's eyes scanned the room, a bit too drunk to focus on anything involving detail. The toilets were empty, except for a shape in the corner stood by the sinks. She giggled, realising who it was, and noticing her misfortune.

"Hahaha…you pissed yourself Shego…" She swaggered towards the villainess, still with a humoured smile spread across her face.

Shego looked up towards the familiar voice. By the time her eyes had focused, the redhead was a matter of inches from herself. Apparently a drunk Kim had no depth-perception.

Kim looked up and down her rival's toned body, and took in the sight. She was wearing an emerald green, halter neck dress, which sat about half-way down her calf. A slit reaching up her thigh exposed her long, slender leg. The front of the top dipped down, hanging loosely and revealing her cleavage. Kim didn't realise, but she had been staring at Shego's boobs the whole time she was in focus to be able to.

"Up here Princess." Shego smirked. She threw the paper towels away in frustration, and noticed how bad her headache was, and how being in this room made her feel sick all over again. She slid down the wall, sitting with her legs barely covered by the dress, which bunched around her waist. Kim followed, still mesmerised by Shego, yet averting her gaze from her chest to her face. It was some moments before they spoke; the older woman leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes, and Kim stared blankly at the nearly un-hinged cubical door.

"We really have to stop meeting like this…" The villainess muttered with a smile.

"I thought you got hardly any time off?" Kim closed her eyes too, and leaned against the base of the sink closest to her.

"Lets say I persuaded that jackass I work for…" she laughed.

"Persuaded…?"

"Yeah…every Saturday off, and after another near miss with my plasma, it was every Sunday morning too…Y'know…just in case, _Kimmie…_" Kim's eyes jolted open, a blush also forming, and she stared towards Shego, who hadn't opened her eyes and just had her usual grin on her face. Kim pretended she hadn't heard the last sentence, and leaned back on the sink, eyes closed.

"Why do you even work for him? He's a complete idiot, and is about as evil as a stuffed animal…"

"What, you mean like Pandaroo?" She waited for a reply, holding in the building laugh.

"What?" Kim squeaked in reply. _How the hell does she know about Pandaroo?!_ "I think I'm too freaked to ask just _how _you know..._that_..."

"Hahahaha!!"

"Whatever, just answer me…" she snapped back.

"Ooo, ordering me now, Princess? I do like 'em feisty…" Kim's face couldn't get any redder, and she was just grateful Shego wasn't looking. "I work for him…" she continued, "for the money. It's all about the money…"

"Drakken really has that much money?"

"You wouldn't believe it. That ass gets money from God knows where. I'm not complaining though…I mean, it's not like I do all that much…You're hardly a challenge…"

"Yeeeaaah…you keep thinking that."

"Alright, expert fighter over there, why are you teamed up with that buffoon? He can barely get himself dressed, let alone fight, and I use that term in the lowest way possible, alongside you…" Shego's head pounded, and she cursed her early hangover.

"He's my best friend Shego…He's always been there for me. And believe it or not, he does have his uses every so often."

"As the decoy?"

"Yup."

"So mean Kimmie! You're not nice when you've been drinking…" Shego pouted.

"I don't have any other time to say it…besides, I speak the truth when I'm drunk…" She gulped, trying to ignore her stomach.

"What do you think of me then?"

"Well…You're a good fighter, as much as I hate to admit that…You're…You're witty one liners suck…and…that dress makes you look…" She stopped there, her brain working ahead of itself.

"The dress makes me look…" Kim's ears only heard the dull beat from the music in the club, rather than the noise of Shego moving closer. "…what, Princess?" The voice was right next to her ear, so close she felt the air brush her hair. She slowly opened her tired eyes, and found Shego on her hands and knees, leaning over her body; their lips, once more, so close they were nearly touching.

Kim found herself holding her breath; she didn't know if it was in shock or anticipation, but soon found out. Her eyes closed automatically, and she even leaned in a little, making their lips meet sooner. She couldn't imagine how deep her blush was now, and her heart was beating so fast she thought it would hurt.

Shego deepened the kiss by pressing on more firmly, parting her lips slightly. Kim complied and opened her mouth, waiting for Shego.

She couldn't hear the music outside, all she could hear was the knocking in her chest. Her heart was beating its own beat, giving the scene its own rhythm.

No sooner had Shego lifted her hand up and placed it on Kim's cheek, and slowly slid her tongue past the redheads soft lips, had the toilet door been opened once again.

The blonde quickly shut the door, not even blinking this time, because she knew she hadn't seen what she thought she had. This time they were actually _kissing_? She needed to stop drinking the amount of Vodka and Coke that she had been, and she needed stop turning into a lesbian. Oh god, she hoped she wasn't turning into a lesbian. She couldn't help but worry what her mother would say.

Shego had pulled away and stared at the blonde, who had simply stared back and then shut the door. She looked down at Kim, who still had her eyes closed, her head leaning back, and her mouth partially open. The woman smiled as the girl below her gradually opened her eyes.  
"I swear if that blonde does that again, I'm gonna shove a bottle up her ass." Kim glared back, not speaking or moving, except for her eyes which glanced over Shego's face.

Shego stood up, picked up her purse and walked towards the door.

"Don't stay there all night, Kimmie." she grinned.


	3. Le au sol de bataille Part 1

**Well, a long wait n I give you...this, hahaha. Sorry for lack of update sooner. I went to a party last weekend, so no late nights then, and Ive been up to my buggering eyeballs with school work. GCSEs are so friggin stressful. **

**Uh, couple of things about this. This is really only part 1 of Chapter 3, Im not writing anmore now cos I feel sick n Im really tired so all I wanna do is go to bed, but I wanted to put _something _new on here. **

**I fail at making up stuff for Wade to say about missions. I fail at making someone sound French. I just fail on this completely TT-TT Uh...enjoy... **

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"Wade…it's 3 in the morning…I don't even think evil geniuses are up at this time…" Kim rubbed her sleepy eyes and tried to keep them open, though she was finding it difficult. "Sorry Kim, but this is important." Wade looked tired too, though he was doing better to hide it as he typed furiously on his computer. Kim yawned a sigh. "What's the sitch…"

"I've found Drakken's new lair, and unluckily for us, its in France."

"France?" Kim perked up and shifted a little in her bed. "You've got to be kidding."

"I wish I was. He's got some new plan underway, though I don't know what yet."

"Alright…um…" she yawned deeply again, trying to ignore her lack of sleep. "Get transport sorted and I'll get ready now…"

"Okay, it will be there soon. Remember it's just you though." The redhead groaned when she realised it would just be her. She had completely forgotten about Ron going on holiday with his parents.

"Thanks for reminding me Wade…" She closed the transmission between the two of them and shuddered as she stood up, the night air chilling her.

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Her head bobbed every time a wave of exhaustion washed over her. She jerked as she woke, and frowned when she realised she wasn't in her nice, warm bed, but rather on a private jet on her way to France. _Drakken is so gonna pay for keeping me awake__…__I__'__m gonna__…__kick his__…__ass__…_Her head nodded and her eyes closed, but opened almost instantly when the plane shuddered; its wheels touched down on the small runway.

Kim headed for the waiting car after barely speaking a word to thank the pilot who she had apparently saved from some sort of demise. If she had not been so tired she would have been much more courteous, but right now she didn't care.

About five minutes into the car journey Kim came to the conclusion that everything was taking too long. All she wanted to do was crawl back into her bed and not move from it until the next day. Her eyes slowly closed as the hum from the engine soothed her, and she leaned back on the car seat. She ignored the sunlight pouring through the window and drifted off.

Her rest didn't last for long when she woke, feeling herself being nudged gently.

"Sorry to wake you, Mademoiselle Possible, but we are here." Her bleary eyes looked out the window, and she saw…not a lot. She thanked the driver and got out the car, taking in her surroundings. They were in the middle of nowhere. Well, to be more precise they were on some obscure stretch of road, with the land around them consisting of little more than dust and sand. That was, until she noticed the large, grey bricked building.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me…"


	4. Le au sol de bataille Part 2

**Here it is (finally lol) the second part of chapter 3. Ive been majorly tied down with coursework at the moment, which explains the crappy update like, 2 weeks ago, and the extremely late update now. But, better late than never :D **

** Wow, this is a long chapter for me (combining part 1 in that, cos it was originally gonna be all one part lol). **

**I had tons of fun writing this, for some reason lol, and I didnt wanna write buckets on fightingness which is why I kinda copped out on it a bit lol. **

** Hope you like, please please pleeeaaase review, simply cos I love reading them :) Enjoy!! **

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"_Bonjour,_you worthless _mortels. Je m'appelle _Drakken, but you shall call me your _roi, _or suffer the terrible _conséquences!!…_How does my French sound Shego?"

"Terrible Dr D…" Shego replied airily, not taking her eyes from the magazine in front of her.

"I don't know why I bother Shego! You could show a little support…"

"Hey it wasn't my choice to come to a country that you can't speak the language of." She took her feet off the table they were resting on and put down her magazine to stand up.

"Besides what are we doing here?" She gestured around the room with her hands. "In the middle of nowhere I might add. You could've picked Paris, but nooo… you chose to stick us down a deserted stretch of road. I would clap to congratulate but it would take to much energy." The woman glared a little at the 'evil' genius before continuing. "And…a baguette factory? Seriously, what were you thinking?!"

"Its inconspicuous, Shego!!" He shouted back, visibly hurt that she was insulting his choices.

"A baguette factory. In France." She said plainly.

"They have baguettes in France!"

"Not a crapping baguette _factory_!! Its called a bakery! The French do eat more than just baguettes!" She grunted in annoyance and stalked away, out of the control room.

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Kim stepped cautiously towards the large building towering over her, as the faint sounds of her ride faded away into the distance. She reached the entrance, which appeared to be a vast pair of metal double doors, with prison like windows either side. She looked up when her eyes came across the sign, again. It read _Baguette Factory_. "We know _that _was Drakken's idea…" she muttered under her breath as she looked around the building, searching for a discreet entrance. The redhead reckoned it looked more like a prison than any factory she had ever seen.

Seeing a small door round the side, she smirked at her own stupidity. Placing her hand on the handle, she held her breath. _Surely they're not stupid enough to- _Kim's thoughts were interrupted when the door slowly swung open. _They really are stupid enough…_She laughed, before creeping in.

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Before Shego had reached her room, the siren over head sounded, flashing with bursts of red. She sighed, heading back the way she had come.

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Kim found herself surrounded by henchmen, alarms ringing through her ears. It appeared that the 'back door' was the door straight into the main hall of the lair, where it seemed all the henchmen sat around, looking as useless as they always did.

The redhead smirked as she laughed at their pathetic attempts to look menacing, and she ran towards them, fists raised.

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"SHEGO!!" Drakken bellowed from the control room, looking increasingly worried as another henchman skid across the floor from the hall.

"No need to shout Dr D, I heard ya…" She replied, rubbing her ear. She walked closer to him when she noticed the guards.

"Its your job to deal with her, so get on with it! I need my precious invention keeping safe from that brat…" He clutched the device in his arms, with a look on is face similar to that of a sulking child.

"Okay! Jeez, you need to lighten up, it's not like she can get through me…and it's not like that piece of junk is ever going to work…" she added, muttering.

She slowly made her way towards the hall, the lights still flashing and siren still blazing. The last guard skidded past Shego, where she turned the corner to see Kim stood there, panting.

"Bit rough with them, weren't you Pumpkin?" The villainess smirked, before stepping over the pile of bodies by her feet.

"I don't appreciate being woken up at 3am to come and deal with you…" she panting, standing up straight to glare right into Shego's eyes.

"You don't-" she stopped herself, mid-sentence, and frowned a little at Kim.

"What? No sarcastic remark?" She was genuinely shocked.

"Oh? I thought my 'witty one liners suck'?"

"I, um…" Kim averted her gaze, blushing as she remembered what she had said the last time they had seen each other. She looked up, only to see Shego right in front of her, taking a swing.

With no time to react, the teen was sent stumbling backwards, rubbing her cheek.

"You looked away, Kimmie, not a good thing to do when I'm here." Her grin widened when Kim took her hand away from her cheek and clenched it in a fist beside her.

"You are so gonna pay for that Shego…"

She sprinted towards Shego, bringing a fist behind her, ready to swing. She released all her energy into the blow, which was quickly blocked. Their fight continued, moves going to and fro, both wishing for a blow to contact their foe.

"What's gotten you so worked up Princess? You actually seem to be making an effort!" She simply couldn't hold that one in.

"I've already fucking told you, enough of the fucking remarks!! The only person that could ever laugh at them is you!! Laughing at your own jokes…you really can't get any sadder." Kim panted between attacks.

"Wow, Kimmie, you've got a right tongue on you." She ducked a kick and continued, while making a kick of her own. "Did our last encounter make you all hot and bothered Princess?"

At that line Kim momentarily let her guard down, which resulted in a swift kick to her stomach. She coughed, her back now against the wall, and clutched her stomach.

"I'll take that as a yes." Shego strode up to Kim, so close that their bodies pressed together, making the redhead blush.

"Come on Kimmie. All you where was a bit of fun…you can't honestly have thought anymore of it."

Suddenly, Shego backed away a little, staring at Kim. Her face was a mixture of rage and anguish. She bolted for the woman, catching her by surprise. Her fist slammed into Shego's face, sending her onto the floor, as she slid a little over the polished linoleum.

Shego opened her eyes, only to see Kim's fist come closer to her face once again. She brought her hand up and blocked, noticing that there was no real force behind it anymore. She tasted blood as her lip split from the previous punch.

The redhead flopped onto the floor next to her rival, and glared towards her, hot tears forcing their way from her emerald eyes.

"How could you do that Shego?!" She shouted, forgetting where exactly she was. Her mind blocked out everything; the siren, the flashing lights surrounding them, the unconscious people littering the floor. She blocked out everything but Shego.

"How could you do that?!" she repeated. Kim furiously wiped away the tears from her red face.

"How could I do _what?_" Shego replied angrily, getting to her feet.

"How…how could you…be like you were towards me…make me feel things I'd never felt before…how could you…could you kiss me, and…and then…say it was all just some fun!!" She stood up too, and when she did, Shego grabbed her arms.

"So you'd rather me say that I wish it had never ended? How when we spoke it wasn't just some drunken ramblings? That's not how things work, Kim. It was a drunken kiss in some club's toilets. That's all it ever was." She let go of her grip and turned away. "And as it goes, that's all we'll ever be."

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**Oh noes D: its gone all angsty n serious! Lets hope it turns out ok :[ lol. I'll update as soon as I can, which could be a while...lol. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! **


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